Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize