the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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