Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Randomize
