in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
She bit a glass in half.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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