We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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