i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
