Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
