I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
