i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Two words: nipple clamps
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