remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
