Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
