omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Duck Duck Cougar?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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