I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
