she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
