Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
