I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
