i will never coherently bang her
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
