hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm getting married
To pizza
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
