you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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