is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
