she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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