VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
There r osticjed everywhere
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Randomize
