After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize