would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
