dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
