No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
