Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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