yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
