Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
