apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
