All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
