I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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