I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
