South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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