This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize