He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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