It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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