Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
