i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
