How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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