Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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