You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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