He is an equal opportunity slut.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
