all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I just googled if crying burns calories
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
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