This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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