it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
