Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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