some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize