yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
