Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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