Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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