Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
