we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
