yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
