can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize