Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
im holly from the hills drunk
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
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