I puked a lego.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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