But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
After last night, I could never be a politician.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
