Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
