Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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