yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
